Written by northern warrior
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: France, Poverty

Friday, 22 January 2010

image for St Cullottes slams poverty critics
''if they have no bread, let them eat macdo'' says St Cullottes

French President Knickerless St Cullottes today angrily rejected claims he was not doing enough for poverty in France. ''I have done more to increase poverty than any other president'' he claimed after distributing a fact dossier to assembled journalists.

The report highlights the governments progress in inflicting poverty amongst immigrant families, rural communities and the self employed after a string of new poverty inducing reforms were implemented in 2009. These included a web of new hidden taxes, complimenting the existing unaffordable income based levies, which are amongst the highest in europe. The massive hike in food prices whilst decreasing the farmers share, and disabling the social aid scheme ensuring people wait months for small amounts of money, by which time, they are generally dead.

Critics however are not satisfied with the school closure programme, saying this could destablise the goal of long term poverty amongst the poor, and the lack of new prisons to house people caught stealing food etc.

A Defiant St Cullottes stated'' we are well on the way to ensure France becomes the first 1/99 in europe'', a reference to his goal of 1% of the population sharing 99% of the wealth. He later sang a new song written by his wife '' The working class can kiss my ass, I am the president at last'' to the tune of red flag.

The fact dossier will be available at all maries sometime in 2015 at a cost of 5461.37 euros (photocopies of passport, id card, utilities bill, tax declarations for last 10 years, parents marriage certificate and an attestation from the local bakery obligatory)

Make northern warrior's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

1 4 16 17

Go to top