The neighbours complained when all their shrubs and flowers were eaten, the Police got tired of responding to wild wabbits running around in the streets fornicating, and a certain spoof writer had to quit his day job in order to spend his time cleaning litter boxes and gathering wilting lettuce from the dust bins of Paki Vegetable Stalls.
Apparently, all these impositions are now forgotten as Spoof Writer Skoob, known now as 'The Wabbit Man', has come up with a breakthrough for a rare disease known to be cured through the distillation of Wabbit Milk, known as Hereditary Angiodema (HAE).
In cooperation with a Netherlands Pharmceuticall company, Skoob, who now houses over 1232 lactating Wabbits, has been granted world wide milking rights to supply the company with Wabbit Milk for their process which extracts a rare protein from the milk to combat the ailment which can cause painful swelling, unfortunately not to the penis, and sometimes death in humans.
"It's taken a holt of me, mate," said a besieged Skoob, "all this milking! Jest think...this all started when the Mrs. adopted one wee wabbit as a pet so she'd have someone to cuddle with in the evening while I was banging the key board for The Spoof!"
Pointing expansively around his yard, Skoob said," Just look...the fooking wabbits have taken up every available bit of space...but I finally figured out how to have them pay for themselves!"
"At first it was time consuming...I had to use a set of modeling twizzers to milk their little teats, certainly not as much fun as I used to have 'twizzing' myself off looking at pictures of Kerry Katona with her face in a banana split!"
Skoob credits a host of fellow spoof writers in aiding him to come up with a miniature milking machine with hundreds of tiny suction cups to milk 100 wabbits at a time using a patent for suction owned by Andrew Dyson and a licensing agreement arranged by a barrister who advertises on the Telly.
A tour of the milking room, in what used to be Skoob's Creative Writing Den, proved to be chilly, as after experimentation it was found that a temperature of 36 degrees Fahrenheit was enough to keep the Wabbits little nipples erect enough to allow the fastening of the milking cups..."couldn't do this in South Carolina," said Skoob, " too fooking hot...you'd never be able to find the little tits!"
Skoob says the experience has changed his life. "I used to be all about big TITS, thinking that was the way to score big hits...but these little buggers have shown me that wee little TITS are a money maker. If I ever have time to get back to Spoof Writing I'm going to spend more time on my Katie Holmes stories and the benefits of Scientology!"
Skoob said he is now working on the addition of flavours to his product and has backing to open a string of "Little, Itty Bitty Wabbit Titty Milk Bars" to cater to American Tourists 'turned off by this BIG TIT thing! "
"I'm all done milking those big un's' he said wiping the milk off his moustache.