US Troops have dropped into Port-au-Prince via parachutes and are now attacking the destroyed palace of voodoo high priest and Haitian President, René Preval.
Shocked earthquake victims observing the parachute attack started cheering the Yanks as they quickly made headway rounding up in-trance voodoo priests and some headless chickens attempting to escape.
A US military spokesman offered the following statement:
"We were actually on our way to Afghanistan when Obama called and diverted us here, he thought it would be at least one war the US could win!"
"Especially after the quake, destruction of Preval's palace and the ensuing, total confusion."
Obama wishes to install a more US friendly government, rid Haiti of voodoo, force Haitians to speak English, send their coffee and bananas to the States and not too China, "scavenging new-rich bastards!"
Hearing of this startling attack, Gordon Brown, UK Prime Minister begged Obama to let his crack Brit forces to help, Brown could do with some success before the General Election.
Obama told Brown to F**K off and find his own wars!!!!!!