Belfast - (The Final Frontier): Details have begun emerging about the sordid sex romps played by Northern Ireland MP Iris Robinson and her former helplessly enamoured toyboy 'Captain' Kirk McCambley.
"She was mad about stripping off out of her Enterprise outfit," McCambley commented today, "saw herself as Lieutenant Ohura, somtimes Nurse Chapple even.
"Forward thrusters at Warp Factor Nine, Captain Kirk, were her usual instructions about the shagging.
"Wore me out inside and out. Still have the carpet burns two years on."
The relationship began to deteriorate rapidly however when Mrs Robinson decided to swap roles and become Captain Kathryn Janeway from Voyager.
"Completely freaked me out, man," McCambley added.
"It was bad enough being demoted from my thrusting Captain Kirk role.
"But then she wanted me to wear an Obama mask and call myself Lieutenant Tuvok, forchrissakes!"
More revelations are expected later in the week.