Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for 'Bad Girls' 3D Porn System Signs Conjoined Twins To Headline New Blockbuster Skin Flick: "ClusterF*****!"
Bad Girls Trailer for 'Cluster F****' Showing Conjoined Foreplay Before Real Action Starts!

Following the lead of blockbuster 'Avatar', now with over $500M banked in just a few short weeks in the midst of a global recession, a group of Follywood Porn Promoters have come out with a complete 3D Home Porno Entertainment Center which they are calling 'The Coming Thing.'

Disregarding the obvious pun, potential buyers are lining up to purchase the $4,000 Porn Center, as well as being willing to be on the hook for $20 a month subscriber fees. "Why not get inna onnit," said one UK screen buff, " seems the only way you can get laid these days is be 19 agin, and tenderizing some old cow...don't get nown at home no more...got to make do, I say!"

'Bad Girls' spokesman Fernando El Al Mahmod Mugabe, an entrepreneur with tri-citizenship, said they were kicking off their subscription campaign with the signing of the amazing Conjoined twins, the McBriars & the Pissgums, to star in the premier offering of the $2450 budgeted picture "Cluster Fuck" detailing the sex life of the McBriars who are 'head over heels' in love with 'some real Studs...including one with a 'real woody' for a member.'

Fernando said the picture offers little dialogue, but "more tits & ass than you can find on any solo actress today...we're doubling down on the T&A factor here, Dude, the positions and the athleticism of the actors are phenomenal!"

To further aid in the pre promotional craziness, Fernando says they have hired The Bonkettes through manager Skoob 1999, and Bargis Tryhol, the man with the world's largest penis, to make personal appearances.

Negotiations are also underway with Bargis' manager and creator, Mr. Buck E. Wheat, for a multi picture deal chronicling the lead character's life as a part time Irish Butcher and full time Sexual Surrogate.

Fernando was on hand in Las Vegas at the recent Porn Expo soliciting Limited Partnerships in the venture, promising returns in triple digits.

"We expect this movie, with European and third world rights, to gross about $600M,' he said, " any swingin' dick that doesn't get in on this now is going to be wankin' himself later!"

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 2?

4 12 8 19
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top