A recent scandal, involving the impact of Witch Doctors ordering Human Sacrifices to ensure Wealth, Success, & Power in Uganda, has threatened to spill over to Obama's White House, as several recent appointees have gone missing, and dozens more are said to be hiding out 'in the bush'.
Michelle Obama has stated forcefully that her mother is not responsible for a recent spate of missing chickens, dogs, a parrot and 6 wabbits that were the personal pets of the Obama Children.
Michelle's mama, who has been isolated in a secure wing of the White House, ever since moving in last February, has never been seen during day light hours, but rumours slipping out from the Secret Service, indicates she has a penchant for prowling the hallways at night, and is thought responsible for a collection of kitchen knives, a chopping block, and 3 pallets of rapid absorbing paper towels having gone missing.
According to a recent magazine series,"Dog Days in the White House', which received scant attention by the Press, or anyone else for that matter, the mother in law was also suspected of doing away with Bo, The White House pet, but readers of the series know otherwise as he escaped her diabolical plans for "Portuguese Water Dog Stew".
Uganda actually has an "Anti Human Sacrifice" arm in the state police system, which was set up after 26 confirmed sacrifices last year, with another 120 missing people suspected of being put 'under the knife' to obtain their hearts, and blood as an offering to local witch doctors.
Kenya is located just to the east of Uganda, and reports are surfacing that a young Barry Hussein Obama, known as "Kalish" in his village during his younger days, spent 3 weeks prowling the bush in an area known to harbor witch doctors and reporting a high incidence of missing persons.
"These witch doctors are pretty good," said a local official, " bring them enough blood and beating hearts, they can make all your dreams come true...there is a price of course....but it usually affects other people and not the one buying favours!"
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs tried to put a positive spin on the unfolding story, saying the recent disappearance of Van Jones, and the sudden 'retirement ' of over a dozen high powered democrats, including Senate Banking Chairman Chris Dodd, was a 'humanitarian effort to enable younger and deserving Democrats to move up the Chain"
Political wags wondered on various blogs if Gibbs had made a culinary slip and was thinking of the Washington Food CHAIN, as all of the Democrats that have stepped down have not made a public appearance in a week, their cell phones have been disconnected, and are said to be 'petrified'.
Rush Limbaugh has been following the story and his only comment was, "Well, now the hunters know what's it's like to be hunted! "
Limbaugh did have a final comment to his hate fans that had wished him dead during a recent Hawaii Hospital Stay...."Eat Your Heart Out!"