Written by Morse
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Saturday, 9 January 2010

image for CIA Announcement Confirms There Are 71 Virgins in Heaven, Plus One That Could Go Either Way After Jockey Short Bomber Completes Sex Change!
Sonja, As Depicted on CIA Anti Terrorism Leaflets Encouraging Trip to 'Paradise'!

Speaking off the record, a highly placed CIA operative confirmed that recently apprehended 'Jockey Short Bomber' Umar Farouk Aldulmutalation, has by his own request, completed his sex change operation courtesy of the US government and Medicare.

Umar, a self proclaimed virgin, and now frustrated with no apparent future opportunities to change his status since he blew his dick off in an aborted plan to 'Reign the Wrath of God Over Detroit' (ed. note: no one had the heart to tell him his efforts were way too late), agreed to completing his half arsed conversion to the opposite sex, in exchange for blowing the whistle on the rest of his comrades still in Bomb Training in Yemen.

The operation was completed in Walter Reid Army Hospital, and followed the procedures recently undergone by Hussein Obama, Jr's recent transgender appointment to be "Bi-Polar Czar, detailed earlier.

Umar, now to be known as 'Sonja' , had her adams apple removed, added more roundness to her buttocks, and was topped off with a set of 34 C's . The finished product, according to Terrorist Analyst Rocky "Rags" Luciano, would have terrorists around the world tripping over themselves trying to get in line for their 'personal piece of Heaven!"

Current plans call for the CIA, in concert with Air America, to drop millions of leaflets containing seductive pictures of Sonja over Yemen, Syria, Pakistan, Minnesota and Londanistan in order to spur militant mullahs to increase their recruitment plans thereby getting careless and even allowing the dumbest government agencies involved in combatting terrorism to make arrests.

Sonja's CIA Handler, Dr. Victor Nicholas, responsible for 'after care', said the patient seems to be content with her impending future, and spends most of her time meditating and bent over on her knees.

"I can't really say she's praying to Allah, the moaning is hard to decipher," said the Doc, " I think it's more like she's practicing to receive a long queue of lovers!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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