Written by Morse
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Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for Tila Tequila Says "I Need a Wifey with Balls!" Sets Sights on Tony Romo Who Set His Hair on Fire When Hearing the News!
Tony Romo Hair Dryer Incident Sets Him "On Fire" over Tila Tequila Rumours!

A distraught Tila Tequila, lamenting the demise of her bankrupt 30 year old 'Wifey" Heiress Casey "Q-Tip" Johnson, after yet another drug related tabloid sensation, says she's now looking for someone 'with more balls...and Money!"

A spokesman for the schizophrenic Singapore immigrant, who may or not be a former male model named Hu Nhu Ngyuen after a brief stint in Pattaya as a Pedi Cap driver, says her past female lovers have been way to unstable to sustain a long term relationship.

Reports are surfacing that she has taken a more than unhealthy interest in Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo, who despite questionable talents, appears to have enough balls to satisfy the like of past 'bed buddy' Jessica Simpson, even though he didn't pass the testosterone test of Jessica's Father who wanted to supervise even her ambitious sex life.

Mr. Simpson refused to comment for this article saying only "Tony keeps tripping over his dick...he wasn't right for my Jessica!"

Teammates of Romo said the 'Lonesome' Cowboy, his locker room moniker since the very public bust up with Simpson, was not excited about Tequila's future plans, and in a state of panic managed to set his hair on fire while blow drying his locks after showering at the Cowboy Compound.

According to Cowboy officials, Romo took off for Las Vegas, leaving word that the team could come and get him a day before the upcoming playoff game with the Philadelphia Eagles this Saturday. Tony said he didn't need to practice as the team was using the 'same old game plan' as last week when they "trashed those bunch of fags!"

Romo's comments caused Vegas odds to skew toward the Eagles, and League Security Officals promise a thorough investigation as soon as they get to the bottom of the 127 automatic weapons found in the Cowboys' locker room after a high stakes "Texas Hold 'em Up' poker game during half time.

A teary eyed wide receiver and former Romo teammate Terrill Owens (TO) said nostalgically "......that's my Quarterback...and I support and love him to death, even when he's not on fire!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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