Written by Morse
Print this

Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for Spoof Editor Announces Plan to Move Site to Lithuania as Britain Drops to 25th On Quality of Life Index!
Temporary Cozy Headquarters in Lithuania for Mark & The Spoof Where He Hopes to Find 'The Perfect Pickled Egg!'

Senior editor of TheSpoof.Com announced plans today to move the popular site to the Baltic state of Lithuania after the recent Quality of Life Index showed that Britain had fallen to the number 25th position.

While France, closely followed by Australia, Switzerland and Germany, held the top spot, Editor and Publisher Mark Lowton said he wasn't willing to throw up his arms in complete submission and move THERE.

Lowton said he wasn't quite sure where Lithuania was, but according to his research on Lyntonopedia, Lithuanians had a higher standard of living, a favorable tax rate for corporations, 99 miles of sandy beaches, and more than a few babes that routinely appeared on page 3 of The Sun.

The move, according to Lowton, will move the Spoof into the 22nd position as the most desirable place to live and work, and while a modest move at best, will reflect positively on the Corporation's Bottom Line.

"Moving up is always better," said the Editor over a Toasted Cheese Snack.

Lowton also said he was concerned with inflation.

"We've recently noticed a marked inflationary tone affecting our points total on The Spoof BS (bull shit) Meter...everyone has been racking up mystery points, but in actuality they are really worth less. Should this inflationary trend continue by staying in the UK, it is conceivable that even someone like Fergus McCarthy could wind up having over 5 million points in his Spoof Account, while only contributing 99 Spoofs!"

Lowton denied he is running a Spoof Ponzi Scheme, or the rumour that he's moving out of the country due to a pending Literary Investigation conducted by Spoof Laureate Sir Percival Pantywaiste, a distant relative by marriage to
former PM Tony Blair.

Lowton further assured writers and subscribers that the transition would be a smooth one, although there might be a few glitches 'out of the box' since Lithuania had not yet offered 'high speed' internet further delaying hot breaking stories by yet another "3-4 days or so", according to the hardworking scribe.

"Look at it this way," said Lowton, "we may not be on top of breaking news, but there's always room to be #1 in rewriting history!"

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

8 12 21 18
39 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more