Burj Dubai, the 828m (2,716ft) skyscraper out in the gulf is currently enjoying it's spell as the world's tallest building, but US developer Bargis 'The Tripod' Tryhol, is promising that his own project will surpass the Burj within weeks.
And he claims that his project will enjoy full occupancy from day one - unlike the 80% empty Burj.
"My building will be 2,916 feet high," the man with the world's largest penis told us. "It's going up in Cockermouth in England and should be topped out within the next few weeks."
One member of Tryhol's team told us:
"The secret in building something like this is in giving the customers what they want. Tripod Towers will become a unique 'must visit' destination. It'll have nightclubs, hotels, strip clubs, bars, restaurants, bordellos, theatres, porno cinemas, shoe shops, fast food joints, pools, and en suite hot tubs. It'll stand taller than the Burj, and be aesthetically more beautiful."
"How?" a rival reporter challenged.
"It'll be shaped like a giant cock," Tryhol chuckled. "With a big minaret on the top designed to resemble a bell-end. And on public holidays we'll shoot fireworks out of the Jap's Eye to simulate the male orgasm."
Tripod Towers is expected to hold a lavish opening ceremony in March.
More as we get it.