In yet another cyberspace romance gone tragically wrong, the UK Cunnyjoined twins, Rachel and Mary Katherine McBriar were horribly disappointed after they finally met up with their internet chat room friends, the diabolical Pissgum Conjoined Twins, Percival & Buck.
What started out as an innocent dialogue exchanging pleasantries and then moved further along into heartfelt poetic fantasy, soon turned into a burning desire to consummate their fiber optic love that had burned up the airways and left their custom made white spanky pants damp with desire!
The virginal twins, who had been forced to share a used two headed dildo for most of their adult life, thought they had found their soul mates in the sexually accomplished Pissgums.
They were anxious to rid themselves of their forced virginity and seek relief from their tedious life of editing texts for Professor Lynton at Cambridge University.
The Professor desperately sought tenure by gaining entrance into the Guinness World Record Book by using every word known to man in one Forum Post on The Spoof.Com. and relentlessly forced the twins to stay overtime rewriting his submissions until they came out 'just right.'
According to Rachel, the assignation was to take place at the New Oasis Bar & Grill where the foursome would meet over a pitcher of Stella in order to break the ice, and then move on to a reserved room at the "Stiff Richard', a quaint B&B that rented out charming rooms, just down the block in Portsmouth where the Pissgums had rented a suite with two conjoined king sized beds and mirrors on the ceiling.
According to the cunning twins, things went well at the Pub and they were introduced to all sorts of interesting out of work writers, and some really bad poets, but the sexual tension started to build, aided in the effect the Pissgums had affected by wearing kilts and being indifferent on how they crossed their legs while perched on their bar stools!
Moving on down to the 'Stiff Richard', the twins were introduced to a candle lit room and preprogrammed music from 'The Phantom of the Opera", and waiting bottles of champagne, the bedcovers turned down, little pieces of chocolate on the pillows in the form of penises, and the matching towels formed into a tableau of two cute wabbits fornicating.
By reading the police reports filed later, it has been determined that the girls soon lost their ardor when it became apparent that the Pissgums were going to have none of the hairy bushes that were presented to them on the altar of love. The girls, who had never trimmed themselves up, since they never went to the beach, were apparently a 'veritable garden' of pubic hairs, according to a statement made to the coppers by Buck.
Unfortunately, the girls took exception when the boys proceeded to drip hot candle wax on their privates continuing from their mid thigh, right up to their unpierced belly button, and then gave them a few drips for good measure on the down of their upper lip, just below their nose.
Adding to the riotous conditions was the cruel statement by Pissgums to the girls saying to them...."Hey, you'll be a hit next Halloween...waxed Lips!"
Since the girls were there on their own volition, the Pissgums were cautioned and released into the care of the Oasis Sergeant of Arms, Frankie J., where they were welcomed with open arms in time for the Karaoke Competition in which they placed second with their rendition of "That Candle in Your Cunny Makes Me Wish It Was the 4th of July!"