Written by shea lo
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Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for Sex, masturbation the only cure to turn young Muslim men away from terrorism

LONDON: It has been established that the Nigerian national who attempted to blow-up a Detroit-bound aircraft with his explosives-laden underwear was actually a 'sexually frustrated loner', unable to play out his normal sexual urges and who converted this repression into fantasies about holy war.

This is what he said in some of his Internet messages: "As I get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and I struggle to control it, sometimes leading to minor sinful activities. This problem makes me want to get married to avoid getting aroused."

Sex therapists have said that normal young men engage in sexual activity that takes care of excessive testosterone levels. "Getting your rocks off really does help" said a well-known golfing serial cheater, adding: "The trouble with these Muslim dudes is that they are forced to follow an unnatural sexless Puritanical approach. This leads to excessive sperm retention. Not only can they not engage in normal healthy sexual activity, they can't even fantasize let alone masturbate. What's a guy to do when he feels like he's ready to blow up. The only climax he gets is from explosives".

Medical experts feel these terrorist-prone young men need to be rehabilitated quickly by allowing them to visit hookers and play out their most deviant sexual fantasies.

"Regular sex is the only way to control them - they must know how to act around real women and not wait around for fantasy virgins in a non-existent Paradise. After all even the Al-Qaeda leaders indulge in excessive pornography. It's a pretty desperate guy who is willing to blow up his man parts just to get some sexual relief."

A well-known sexologist commented: "Let's face it religion and sexual repression simply don't mix - the Catholic Church is a classic example of such nonsensical crap".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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