Written by Morse
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Topics: London, Terrorism, Bombs

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

image for DNA Confirms Explosive Anal Suppository Had Traces of Shiite!
Just Another Bloody Shiite Miscalculating While Touching Off Farts!

Reports leaking out of the UK's leading scientific laboratory seem to confirm what everyone in the free world with a shred of common sense has known for years: the confiscated explosive suppository extracted from a burqa clad passenger contained positive traces of Shiite, linking it conclusively to the "Movement of Allah".

While politically correct leaders are loathe to confirm the report, in fact they have still not charged "The Student", a political firestorm seems to be springing up from a grass roots coalition centering around 'Londanistan" as London is now being called by disgusted free world leaders tired of being intimidated by religious fanatics and left leaning expense account abusing Liberals.

"Doesn't bother me a twit, " said Sir Percival Pantywaite, who recently ignored calls for his resignation after it was found taxpayers paid to have the moat at his castle 'mucked out' and replenished with Nile Crocodiles, "I've got me Moat to protect me, and I don't think the buggers can swim...besides, I'm not there much anyway except for Fox season."

Professor Sir Duncan Whitehead, pre eminent expert in Shiite samples, was available to make a few comments while in Pattaya and interviewed by Exiled Foreign Correspondent Monkey Woods.

Both Whitehead and Woods are considered Shiite experts, Sir Duncan having written numerous treatises on the subject, and Woods, prior to his Banning, having been in close contact to Shiite while riding the bus, trains and cabs in Londanistan, and then having the temerity to actually write about it, ultimately causing him to relocate in some haste to Thailand.

"Shiite is Shiite....they can't get away from it. They're born into it, live innit,
pray to it, and ultimately sacrifice themselves to it...all for the misguided hope that they'll find more of the same Shiite when they get to heaven," said Whitehead, quoting from one of his recent lectures.

Echoing Whitehead, Woods said "He's right....I don't write about that Shiite anymore....I've discovered Jesus Buddha....there's a guy that really has his Shit Together!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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