Written by Morse
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Tuesday, 29 December 2009

image for Major Oil Company Vetoes Vintage Ad Campaign Reprising "Put A Tiger In Your Tank!"
Tiger Contemplates Rejection: "could I just eat you, instead?"

A spokesman for a major energy producing Titan, speaking off the record, said that recent events in the Sporting World, have forced them to reconsider their idea to bring back a highly popular ad campaign with the slogan "Put a Tiger In Your Tank!"

"Our stockholders and Board members are very sensitive to the implications this High Octane ad campaign would do to our image, " said the spokesman.

"We had the ad all set to go for the Super Bowl spot, 1 minute for $15M, and we thought returning to the past would take everybody's mind off the horrendous future, and we could just have a 'feel good' moment for the New Year!"

Ad execs are said to be scrambling to come up with a new theme, and network TV executives are said to be 'shittin' in their pants' that they may lose yet another sponsor during these tough economic times.

Super Bowl ad revenues are said to be down 57% and even Budweiser said it was forced to turn to 'Meals on Wheels' to feed the Clydesdales!

According to the PGA they are considering issuing vouchers backed by the Federal Government, to skittish sponsors, and ticket paying fans, to lure them back to the links after Tiger Woods' implosion which is said to have caused the Global Economy 'billions of fucking dollars" according to Gordon Brown, Silvio Berlusconi, and Mullah Abdul El Sha-Boom of Dubai amongst others.

The vouchers would be backed with the full assurance of the current Chinese Government with Dubai as a Co-signer, and would be redeemable at 22% Interest on January 8, 2016 in time to celebrate V O day in the Colonies with the inauguration of a non politically correct Capitalist who will run on the platform, "I'm Mad as Hell, and Not Taking Any More Shit from Allah."

Tiger Woods' last round in Vegas showed he was 24 'over par' .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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