Little children woke up all over the world to an enormous disappointment this Christmas Morning, wondering why there were no presents under the big pine. The answer: Santa Claus is no more!
Last night, while flying over London, England, the jolly elf and his assistant collided in mid-air with a 747 Boeing Airplane! The jet didn't see them, of course, because obviously Santa's Sleigh is invisible, to keep on the down-low!
There was damage report, as the Kent Fire Brigade investigated the incident: A red hat, a tiny pointed shoe, a sleigh rail, jingle bell, apparently a reindeer antler, a big black boot, a giant scarlet bag, a cigar stub, traces of T.N.T, Jack Daniels Sour Mash Whiskey, and a burnt match.
"From what we gather," says Fire Cheif Rupert Pimnigelshire, "The assistant elf was drunk and lighting up, and carelessly threw back his match from his annual cigar into a bag of T.N.T. rather than gifts. God only knows why Santa Claus had so much explosives at his shop!"
Well, there maybe no more presents from Kris Kringle from now on, but what are grandparents for, anyway?