A shocking international investigation into the collapsing Carbon Credit financial market has revealed that several prominent proponents of The Global Warming Crisis, lost their ass after the Copenhagen Convention was declared a massive Failure, not to mention a Farce!
Amongst the biggest losers was the figure head of the Carbon Hedge Fund scheme, Al 'Mr. Green' Gore, who now appears to be bigger than any of his pet polar bears, and in bigger danger of extinction!
While denying he was 'in it for the money', the human natural gas bloat has been running hither and yon starting up carbon credit schemes backed with money pouring in from all over the globe from corrupt third world leaders that were banking on a big pay day at Copenhagen.
Also tied in to Gore, are a group of Chicago power brokers, now close to the Obama White House, that are involved in a 'carbon counting' firm, the only one authorized to broker carbon credits amongst large manufacturing and energy producing companies in the US.
With the weak showing at Copenhagen, riots in the streets, and the award for the most popular Socialist at a rigged convention going to Hugo Chavez instead of Nobel Prize Winner Obama, investor's started heading for the exits as if someone had yelled "Fire" at an arsonists circle jerk.
The Financial Times claims the inflated carbon credit market was down 40% in the first hour, and down 85% before the market was forced to close.
Inside financial experts, close to the scene, and that had earlier predicted the overheated market bore resemblances to a Madoff inspired scenario, said that an emergency meeting were being held in the White House with mandatory attendance required of Barney Frank, Chris Dodd and Tim Geithner, Treasury Secretary.
According to an uninvited guest who was just passing through on his way to a surprise power lunch with VP Joe Biden, Presidential Advisor Rahm Emanuel was close to a major meltdown as he demanded the unholy trio act immediately to bail out Gore, and by extension himself and the rest of the White House Chicago based investors. "Michelle is going to F****g kill me," he
was heard to scream during one profanity laden rant.
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has announced an emergency press conference for sometime late today, and he is expected to announce the increase in the nation's debt limits, a 'Bailout" for the Carbon Investment Industry, another $100B to Dodd's home state University to set up a "Scotch Tasting" laboratory, and $125m to Massachusetts General Hospital in the name of Barney Frank to find a remedy for 'anal fissures'.
Fox News said Glen Beck and Michelle Malkin would be hosting a 24 hour marathon looking into the 'melt down', and also discussing why Obama's actions have lead to Coal now being worth more than Platinum in the Global Market Place.
West Virginia's Frankie the J just made an offer on Tiger Woods yacht, 'Privacy', and is laughing his ass off, counting his new found wealth, one chunk at a time!