Written by Helen Tarnation

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Monday, 21 December 2009

image for Al Gore steps between GETSAPO and NAZI
Observers fear that 'climate zombies' might hitch a ride on these from Antarctica to the other pole and begin eating

With trouble brewing between the Generous Environmentalists Totally Saving All Polar Organisms (GETSAPO) and the National Australian Zoological Institute (NAZI) over a polar bear evacuation project, Al Gore has stepped in with a compromise.

'Even with this total, universal and ubiquitous planetary emergency that spells doom for all multicellular creatures, we don't need to move the bears and other organisms', Gore said.

'What we can do is move icebergs from the waters surrounding Antarctica, all the way to the North Pole. This will supply polar bears with habitat.'

Gore's suggestion was immediately met with savage opposition from the Klimategate Greenhouse Bioprotectors (KGB).

'Imagine the CO2 emissions that would be emitted by the vast, stupendous, massive, and huge ships, boats, tankers and tugs required to move icebergs from Antarctica to the Arctic', said Boris Yarkov, CEO of the KGB. 'CO2 is such a powerful, poisonous, noxious, lung-busting greenhouse gas that the North Pole would become a popular destination for the bikini-clad, industrial capitalists by the time the icebergs got there.'

'The icebergs would probably melt on the way anyhow', Yarkov added.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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