Written by Philip Moon
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Topics: Solar Power

Monday, 21 December 2009

image for Rooftop Solar Panels Opposed by Frisbeetarianists
When you die, your soul soars onto the roof

Portland, Oregon- At the fiftieth annual Cir-Conference of Frisbeetarism the members of this obscure religion were in fierce debate on green energy. Coming on the heels of the Copenhagen Conference, these religious people had a quite different view of the action to take against climate change. While generally supportive of taking action on climate change, they oppose the use of rooftop solar panels.

"The roof-top solar panels being proposed by these eco-nuts are an affront against our religion!" claimed Frisbeetarian priest John Delano.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that at death your soul ascends in the air, only to land on top of the roof and get stuck. There it remains until the are resurrected in "The Ascension" where a Angel of God climbs a ladder and retrieves it, resulting in a resurrection and reincarnation.

The use of rooftop solar panels has raised controversy among the Frisbeetarians. Many fear the addition of the panels will prevent souls from being able to stay on the roof.

"The solar panels are too smooth and unable to hold on like regular roof tiles. If we allow the solar panels to become common thousands of our souls will be lost in the Downpours of Disappearance and fall into the Junipers of Entropy where they may be lost for years and years," Delano said.

The Frisbeetarians have considered lawsuits against the makers of solar panels, saying their freedom of religion is being threatened by the solar panels.

"Installing solar panels is like making Jews eat pork, or Christians reject the Eucharist. It's important to our religion that our souls have a secure resting place until the Ascension," Delano said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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