(Defecated News) Troubled controversial Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, yesterday underwent major reconstructive facial surgery following the horrific attack by a 'toy-church-wielding psychopath'.
The 73 year old billionaire suffered facial lacerations, a broken nose and two chipped teeth following the assult by Mario Luigi Porno, 42 of Milan. The assault was though to have been provoked by Berlusconi who, when seeing Mr Luigi's 'It's OK to be gay' T-shirt, shouted at him:
"You are a cunt, go eat some pussy like I do, and maybe then you will be a real man."
Mr Porno, owner of a bar in Milan called Fudgio-Packerios then reached for a camp weapon and threw it like a girl at the Italian leader's face.
Mr Berlusconi's surgery was completed at 2am this morning and consisted of stitches, tooth reconstruction, maxillo-facial reconstruction and penile enlargement.