The Cycle's Electronic Entertainment Correspondent Arbuthnot Flange-Plate reports:
A sudden upswing in teenage violence has led to rabid calls for the banning of violent video games.
Sir Waldorf Qum-Buquet Liberal Peer for spoiling peoples' fun and being a killjoy announced today that the Liberal Democrats would be tabling a radical motion to ban a vicious and depraved video game; it is widely believed that if they are successful then this will be the thin end of the wedge and it won't be long before Activision Table Tennis and virtual Fluffy Puppy stroking would be the only games left available for British gaming platforms.
Qum-Buquet said "I have in my hand a game for the X Box, it features a young man meting out extreme violence and in turn having violence practiced upon him with steel rods, he spends his days whoring and miring hismelf in the most disgusting flesh pots, before climbing into his vehicle and propmptly smashing it into street furniture, I was physically sick as I watched this game unfolding, in fact I became so angry that my colon exploded and my bowels prolapsed, I call upon X Box to be responsible and to remove this vile game from British shelves immediately."
The game was of course the much vaunted Tiger Woods Tour 2009 !