Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: Language

Friday, 11 December 2009

image for Humongous Is World's Most Humongous Word
Is this the biggest cat, or most humongous cat? You decide.

It has long been argued by people with nothing better to do with their time, as to which is the 'biggest' word in our language.

Well today we have an answer.

It has been officially decided that humongous is the world's most humongous word. Other contenders in the title were varied, they included big, biggest, giant and so on.

Sally Buttocks, of the National Biggest Word Association, was shocked. "We, as an organisation, have been campaigning for some time to get 'biggest' recognized as the rightful title holder. Surely biggest is the biggest word of all. Between humongous and biggest, biggest is biggest, is it not?" she squawked.

"And look at your own introduction to this article, you say 'which is the 'biggest' word in our language', not 'most humongous'," she parped.

We couldn't argue.

Matty Norbit, of HUGEWords.com said "I felt ginormous was in good order to win, with the often overlooked gigantic being a contender. But humongous is quite big really, so I can't complain."

The League Of Large wanted 'largest' to be crowned. Gary Farb, spokesman, said "largest is by far the biggest, DAMN, now I've done it!!"

The complex history of these 'fake' words is a chequered one. Sir Partly-Small, writer for The Independent, said in a plummy voice "these are not real words. They have been made up of other words and slammed together, like boys in a private school. They have no divine right to be accepted in our language. Ginormous, humongous, pah! Prepostorous more like!"

No matter. Humongous has been crowned the biggest word of all. Fact.

And to quote Britney Spears, 'oops, I did it again!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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