Written by Ulver
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Thursday, 10 December 2009

image for Knox defence appeal campaign revealed
Italian Police Officers prepare for a blow job from Knox today

The Monthly Cycle can reveal today that Murderer Amanda Knox's defence appeal campaign will be based entirely around the fabled "Shaggy" defence.

Knox, serving 26 years for brutal Murder, has polarised the world, with the did she or did she conundrum currently stumping US and Italian judicial experts.

Fabio Della-Corrupt Knox's defence barrister has revealed that her appeal will be based on the following tenet,

"Police came in and they caught me red-handed slicing up the girl next door, picture this me and rudy were butt naked murdering on the bedroom floor, it wasn't me".

In a startling spin on the story, Shaggy has even been flown in from the States to record a charity single to raise money for the appeal campaign, the recordings are believed to be taking place in the Pope's Vatican Studios.

The single, "It wasn't me (that blood was there by accident)" will feature a star studded cast of rock's aristocracy including Shaggy, Debbie Gibson, Joe Dolce, Renee and Renata, that bird who sang Boys Boys Boys in the eighties and Cheryl Cole, who it is believed has been recruited for her ability to realistically cry on demand and for no apparent reason.

Sadly as he arrived in the Vatican City Shaggy was arrested for alleged "adultery" based on evidence drawn from his hilarious tunes.

Shaggy is being held by the Vatican Guard today, and Hilary Clinton America's astoundingly misinformed secretary of shite announced,"We have not discounted sending in American Special Forces to rescue Amanda Knox and Shagggy from the vile machinations of this despotic third world regime in Italy. They evidently known nothing about justice, I have spoken to Shaggy by phone today and he assured me it wasn't him. Funnily enough Amanda Knox has told me the same thing."

The single will be available for download from various sites including the Knox Information Liberal Ladies International Exchange Referendum or K.I.L.L.E.R dot com for 10 Million Euro per purchase.

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