FLASH - Al Gore, the subject of the Oscar-winning "An Inconvenient Truth" and Nobel Peace Prize winner for his advocacy of averting climate change, stunned over 16,000 attendees at the UN gathering on climate-change here in Copenhagen today.
Apparently in response to the wide-spread and growing outrage over 'Climategate Emails' debunking the so-called science of global warming. Mr. Gore stood before the assembled representatives of 100 nations to say his remarks from the past twenty-five years had been taken out of context. He stated he has never said that CO2 is a danger to the environment, the climate or mankind. He also denied ever suggesting that man has the power to affect the earth's climate.
Gore then launched into an informative explanation of the Carbon Cycle complete with video, charts and childrens' choir singing his recently penned 'Ode to Carbon Dioxide.' Hundreds of screaming, sobbing attendees had to be physically removed before he could continue. These histrionics proved to be premature.
In his closing remarks, Gore announced the creation of a new organization, The International Panel on De-oxygenation, whose goal will be to unite the nations of the world behind the removal of all oxygen from the atmosphere before it's too late. "It's simple," Gore said, "no oxygen, no burning of fossil fuels, no pollution." Fully charged oxygen cylinders are to be issued by The World Committee on Breathing to all citizens who are in compliance with it's rules and regulations.