Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 7 December 2009

image for Foxy Knoxy Makes Personal Cry For Help To Italian President Berlusconi
You Eata Dis Forever Da Foxy Knoxy

Convicted killer, Amanda Knox, today made a personal appeal to Italian President Silvio Berlusconi (Who once got out of a car within yards of this reporter in Rome and totally ignored him).

The response to the appeal from media mogul and AC Milan owner Berlusconi will come in a second or two, so please bear with us.

Foxy Knoxy - given the nickname apparently because of her prowess on the soccer field as opposed to her bedroom gymnastics - pleaded with the Italian Premier:

"Silvio, Silvio, wherefore art thou Silvio?"

We suspected that we'd heard that line somewhere before. But we persisted, as Foxy Knoxy went on:

"Dost Thou love me Silvio?"

At which point, Berlusconi replied somewhere along the lines of (translated from the Italian):

"What are you trying to do here Foxy Knoxy? Droppa me inna da sheet or what? WHAT? I told you already not to bugga me when I play wit my puppies."

Knox was reportedly devastated by the dismissive response to her impassioned plea.

"I have every faith inna de Eyetallyun judicial system," Berlusconi told us. "Now please leave me alone. I gotta da puppies to play wit."

Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino declined to comment.

Mario Puzo is no longer with us, sadly.

More as we get it.

Phew! Made it. Thanks to Morse for the inspiration. Cheers Cap!

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