Written by Morse
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Topics: Amanda Knox

Monday, 7 December 2009

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Foxy Knoxy Behind Bars Soon to Receive Relief Due to Conjugal Visits!

Italy's Priapic President, Silvio Berlusconi showed a sense of humanity today when he authorized the reactivation of conjugal visits for convicted murderess Amanda Knox.

Knox, who had been imprisoned for over two years while Italian Justice played out, much like a sensuous pot of bubbling Pasta sauce just waiting to be savoured, was overjoyed when the ACLU successfully lobbied that to deny her sexual activity was 'cruel and unusual' punishment.

Knox, who became known as 'Foxy Knoxy' for her flirtatious demeanor after her arrest, and even into the courtroom, was finally convicted, along with her sex toy boy friend of killing her room mate during a 'sex game' and trying to blame it on someone else.

Knox has been sentenced to 26 years in an Italian jail, but rumours have it that she has already made three (3) trips to the Presidential Palace to personally plead her case to media mogul, and President, Berlusconi, who is presently being sued by his wife for having more playmates than Tiger Woods....including some who he appointed to his 'cabinet'.

According to insiders close to the Italian Penile System, Knox has prepared a list of suitable companions for her stress reducing trysts.

First on the list is PGA swinger Woods, who Knox said she met in Washington State where she was attending college and working as a counter person in a local health food store. Knox claims the pair were intimate on at least 3 occasions, the last being in 2006 when the golfer asked her to grind some organic flour and she proposed she do it in the NUDE while talking dirty.

Apparently the relationship faded after Knox moved to Italy to pursue her education, and not because Wood's wife found out about the relationship and forced Woods to send her away as had been reported in memoirs published by former president Bill Clinton, a Wood's mentor.

A spokesman for Woods denied any involvement with Knox, but did say the golfing icon did have an upcoming trip to visit the Pope planned, but the trip to Italy was purely coincidental. Mrs. Woods is said to have called the trip 'more foreplay' on behalf of her husband's insatiable appetite for kinky sex involving 'hand cuffs'.

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