Written by Nick Hobbs
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Saturday, 5 December 2009

image for World Leaders To Decide On Climate Change Policies.
"I just looked in her beady eye's and knew she was gonna go 'rock' again!"

World leaders have come together today to discuss where to go with the policies on climate change.

The meeting has taken place ahead of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change in Copenhagen next week.

The meeting was held in private, but sources say the various country leaders in attendance, were discussing how they should reach agreement on the proposed policies.

With so many different attitudes and requirements from each country, it has always been perceived as a near impossibility to get all major nations to agree on a single direction of progress.

This seems to have been resolved. Our source said this, "it was decided that as one leader comes up with a suggestion, if someone opposes it, then they should use 'rock, paper, scissors' to decide who wins."

Rock, paper, scissors has become a staple decision maker in government corridors worldwide, our sources say. "The original decision to go in to Iraq was decided on a particularly lengthy game of RPS. Bush won 26-24 over Blair for the final go ahead for military action."

In British affairs, decisions ranging from economic issues, the bailing out of banks and even the election of Boris Johnson as mayor of London all came down to the classic playground game. "How else would that buffoon have won?" our source quipped.

Stateside, President Obama got the top spot after deflty calling paper three times on Hillary Clinton's rock's, an almost unheard of feat.

Plans to determine if and when to pull out of Afghanistan are set for a month's time. President Obama and Gordon Brown are due to battle it out in late January. Obama is hotly tipped as the favourite due to Brown only having one eye.

The effect on a game of rock, paper, scissors against the amount of eyes a person has is hotly contested. This reporter feels it makes no difference.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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