Written by Monkey Woods

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Topics: Thailand

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

image for Man Criticised For Ironing Shirt
Two birds - kill with one stone

There was deep consternation amongst local Bangkok residents yesterday after it was discovered that an expatriate English teacher living in their midst had undertaken a domestic duty normally reserved for the fairer sex (women) - he had ironed a shirt!

Monkey Woods, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, ironed the white, long-sleeved shirt on Monday after finding that carrying it back from his home in Pattaya in a suitcase had left it creased - so creased, in fact, that it looked as if a pack of wild dogs had been playing with it!

Woods' neighbour, a layabout, probably in his late 40s or early 50s, laughed out loud when he saw the Englishman through an open front door ironing the shirt. He told us:

"Him great big sissy! Why don't him wife do it? Or, better still, cheap prostitute!"

It's well-known here in Thailand that prostitutes are extremely adept at ironing, as well as in several other areas of the service industry, including 'pleasuring-men-for-next-to-nowt', and another lazy bastard, who appears to play his friends at chess in the street for a living, said:

"Get slag to iron shirt. Kill two bird, one stone."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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