Written by Harry Porter
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Wednesday, 14 December 2005

image for Fury over 'Marijuana is Good for You' Campaign
It's good to toke - a tourist enjoys a relaxing break in Kecskemét

Hungary's quiet arrival into the European Union has given way to a blazing row after the Magyars declared 'marijuana is good for you' in a bold bid to boost tax revenue.

The country's new approach to 'soft drugs', however, has met hard line opposition from other EU leaders in Brussels who have slammed the Hungarians as "irresponsible pot-pushing peddlers of death, disease and moral decay".

That particular outburst came from the moral high ground of the United Kingdom which has nurtured and preferred its own legion of 'lager louts' to the more soporific pursuits of the Netherlands… and now Hungary.

Prime Minister Tony Blair warned that the EC could be plunged into a political crisis if the lax approach on marijuana and cannabis was not replaced with far more robust legislation.

But with Peter Medgyessy, the Hungarian PM, already announcing his decision to step down from office, his attitude towards Mr Blair was relaxed, but far from conciliatory.

In an approximate translation, Mr Medgyessy said: "Calm down man, chill out; what you need is a really good hit. Will I skin up?"

The Member states were not totally united behind Mr Blair. The Dutch, all wearing MP3 players, seemed totally nonplussed over the situation while the Belgian contingent remained silent, raising suspicions that its stance was linked to the sudden increase in chocolate exports to the former communist state.

Hungary's legalisation of the Class C drug came with the cultivation of 1,200,000 hectares of the Great Plain, already home to thousands of orchards, vineyards and bountiful farms.

This year's mixture of blazing sunshine, high humidity and an abundance of rain saw the hemp crop surpass all expectations. The average plant, with the Hungarian growers opting for a Northern Light/Haze hybrid, soared well above 2.5m. This first crop is expected to finally surpass 125,000 tonnes.

The Magyar government has levied a hefty tax rate on marijuana and resin sales with a kilo of high quality, top leaf 'grass' selling for 4,126 HUF (approx $20).

While this is still an expensive luxury for many ordinary Hungarians, it is a bargain basement price for tourists.

Villagers have been quick to capitalise by setting up 'stoner stalls' and the city of Kecskemét has even introduced a special 'smoking park' where tourists can relax with a giant pipe while listening to Hungarian cover versions of Grateful Dead recordings.

Breaking News: Backpackers busted

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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