Texarse - (Pethidine Prophecy): Global reserves of karmic analgesia are virtually depleted Bush twins Jenna and Barbara have been warned.
Their 28th birthday tomorrow falls on what Illuminati seers have described as the most disaster prone date of the entire Mayan calendar.
"We could see a bursting Susan Boil on humanity's backside splatter TV screens all over the world," Hellfire astrologer Blossom Goodchild explained.
25th November has traditionally seen some of the worst natural catastrophes ever foisted on an unsuspecting mankind.
"We're talking earthquakes, tsunami and wild, wild women ...er, weather!" Goodchild added.
"Them hellraiser gals sure must have been born for a particularly odious karmic reason!"
A World Meterological Organization website lists massive seismic activity for 25 November including:
The 1343 Tyrrhenian Sea tremor/tsunami that destroyed much of Italy; 80,000 dead in the 1667 Shemakha shakedown; the 1759 Mediterranean quake (40,000+ killed); a 8.7 Sumatran undersea earthquake/tsunami in 1833 and the 2000 8.8 Baku tremor.
Other freakish events associated with the date include the Great UK Storm of 1703 (9,000+ dead); the 1839 India cyclone that destroyed 20,000 ships and killed 300,000 people; the 1926 US Midwest tornado catastrophe; the 1950 'Storm of the Century' in NE USA that killed 323; the 1987 Phillipines super-typhoon (1,000+ dead) and the 1996 freak central US ice storm.
Laura Bush is on intravenous largactil.