Michelle Obama finds herself in the midst of yet another controversy involving the US's balance of trade with China, in addition to being linked to a shipment of 316,000 Bongs labeled "Christmas ornaments' she picked up while visiting China with her husband who himself is no stranger to Cannabis!
Inspectors at the Port of Los Angeles were 'shocked and surprised' as they were merely doing a routine security check of containers of goods purchased by the first lady while on another junket around the world with her husband to bask in self directed adulation.
A junior inspector, since transferred to Laredo, Texas, noticed that the shipment labeled 'Christmas ornaments' was in fact intricate bongs decorated with Christmas Elves, reindeer, and miniature sleighs loaded with presents.
A spokesman for the first lady said there must be some mistake as she said
"Barry's given up smokin' that shit long ago...his problem now is meth," an oblique reference to the fact the president has been seen losing loads of weight and he doesn't smile anymore since his teeth are starting to fall out.
An independent investigator did determine however, that the bongs were purchased on Michelle's Government backed "Super Black" American Express Card, along with thousands of other items allegedly shipped in on the same
North Korean tanker flagged in Syria.
According to NSA officials, the tanker made one stop 100 miles off shore of Palestine, and off loaded some 'humanitarian aid' supplies to waiting high speed boats. Unfortunately at least one of the boats unexplainably exploded prior to reaching shore when it hit a rogue wave which triggered a very sensitive trigger switch in the shipment of pre-loaded suicide vests.
Meanwhile in San Francisco a spokesman for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who apparently did not get the White House's plausible deniability story, said that the bongs were destined for sale at the city's legalized medical marijuana
clinics and coffee houses, and designed as last minute 'quick pick up items' for clients' family members as 'stocking stuffers' as part of an ongoing 'stimulus effort' designed to keep Democrats 'happily unaware of reality'.
Meanwhile, a team of DEA 'sniffer dogs' dispatched to check other containers at the port, now on hold, got a case of the munchies and ate a pallet of imported chinese dog biscuits, and then nodded off, thereby causing a delay in the inspection.
Homeland Security Chief Janet Napolitano said she would look into the matter, and probably have the dogs euthanized.
On the home front, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said the bongs would have eased the pain for over 300,000 unemployed actors, writers , folk singers and guitar players in the city, and urged port authority administrators to release 'all' shipments prior to Christmas so everyone "could get happy!"