Written by Jaggedone
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 19 November 2009

image for Russia prove to the world they are "humane" they ban the death penalty but re-open Siberian Stalags!
Medvedev is more humane than Putin, Putin electrocuted Russian scum, Medvedev freezes them to death, saves electricity!

Russia have banned the death penalty, proving to the rest of the world that they are "Humane" after all!

Whilst announcing this moral step President Medvedev also announced alternative solutions for Russia's serial killers, rapists, Mafia Mob Bosses and other such hardcore scum.

Also he offered the solutions to his European partners who are considering the Russian alternatives!

Russia will re-open the freezing Siberian Stalags and just at this moment thousands of condemned criminals are cleaning up the shit-holes!

Overcrowding in 5* luxury Moscow prisons (what!), lack of a sensible judicial system and global criticism has forced the Russians to ban the one and re-introduce the other.

Now all condemned prisoners + those waiting for sentence will be sent to the Stalags and Medvedev told Amnesty International how humane Russia now is, here his comments in perfect Russian translated by multi-lingual genius, Jaggedone!

"NYET, ve have sent our condemned criminals to Siberia, they receive one bottle of Vodka, two parsnips, some cabbage, vill have no heating and at minus 50 degrees centigrade vill freeeze their bollocks off and die vithin two weeks, humane DA (yes)?!!

"Russia saves elctricity, gets rid of its scum humanely and the vorld is happy, DA (yes)!"

"Please European Brothers send your scum to Russia, no problem, NYET!"

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

1 15 17 21

Go to top