Written by Mark Merton

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Sunday, 15 November 2009

image for Woman gives birth to hamburger
where is my hamburger?

A middle aged woman went into labour late last night yards from her home.

Miss Paula Green was returning from her local MacDermot where she had her fast-food dinner with her friends. She called an ambulance on her mobile phone and told them that she was having all the signs of a labour but she wasn't aware that she was pregnant.

The paramedics were on the scene in ten minutes and they found the woman holding a large hamburger in her hands. She was hugging the hamburger with obvious love and affection.

A doctor from London Charing Cross Hospital where Miss Green and the hamburger were taken said to our reporter that this was the third incident this month of women giving birth to humburgers. He added that this anomaly might be due to the latest findings published in the medical journal Lancet recently that "we are what we eat".

Miss Green is doing well but the hamburger is unfortunately getting cold.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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