Written by OIF2Sniper
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Thursday, 5 November 2009

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The Navy Ain't The Only Ones With Semen Issues.

Vatican City, Rome - Pope Benedict XVI was caught quite literally with his pants down. Early in the morning on Dec 8th of last year just before leaving to attend the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary ceremony, a Swiss guard who had gone to escort the Holy See to his vehicle had knocked on the Popes room door and opened it to his horror.

The former Swiss guard who's name has not been released, opened the door to the room and peered in. To his admonishment he saw the Pope standing behind a statue of the Madonna with one hand on her back. The guard thought the Pope was not feeling well leaning against the statue and ran to his aid. Upon as he approached the Benedict XVI he frightened the Pope who spun around to face the guard.

The sight of the Holy See's flesh still erect is a sight the guard will never forget. The Holy See then quickly admonished the guard for entering his room duing his "Devotional Time". Before the guard left the room he noticed that the "Holy Mothers" backside had been the "Target" of the Popes "Devotional Time".

The guard was disciplined "internally" by His Eminence Tarcisio Cardinal Bertone, the current Camerlengo, and after the "intense" disciplinary session resumed his duties. After months of silence he began to recount the experience privately among the guards. Within the following weeks it had become a private joke to call the Pope "His Immenseness" and "The Holy Semen".

The word got around and all the guards were replaced and warned to keep this a secret.
The situation affected these guards view on Catholicism which lead them to come forward. The
"hugeness" of that purported incident and the timing of the story has lead some to question the legitimacy of the former guards story. The Vatican Information Service while acknowledging that there had been some issues with Swiss guards they refused to comment on the Popes disposition toward statues.

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