Borfes magazine confirmed what Obamamanians have been whispering for months; Al Gore will soon hold the title of the World's First Carbon Billionaire!
The 380 pound former Vice President, self proclaimed founder of the Internet, the Billy Mays of Sexual Aids hawking his solar powered dildo, and promoter of 'eat less meat and euthanize your pet' to reduce 'your' carbon footprint, is in line to reap untold billions for his latest global ponzi scheme.
Following his mentor, W.C. Fields, who said there's a sucker born every minute, The Carbon Con Man has reinvented himself as the "God" of all things GREEN, and has put his money where his mouth is, investing in start up companies sure to benefit after the rest of the world gets on the Global Warming Rush to Economic Ruin.
Despite flaws in his historical fictional cartoon, " An Inconvenient Truth", America's most "inconvenient" politician has grown his wealth, and his girth, since he has left office. According to White House watchers, Gore has slid his robust girth sideways into the back entrance of the White House at least 4 times since the Chicago Hood has moved his 'gang' into the mansion.
Reports are that most of the Chicago 'captains' in the administration's crime family are also on the board of a host of Chi Town companies initially financed through the largess of former Chicago State Senator Barack "Barry Boy" Obama. Those companies stand to reap big profits as 'carbon counters' and function as the nation's only authorized "carbon credit' exchangers, and inventing new forms of toxic derivatives promoted by hedge funds.
Gore, whose carbon footprint is approaching only that of the Queen Mary 2, Serial Seducer John Edwards, and the High, and Frequent flying Nun, Nancy Pelosi, has been warning everyone to cut down on there personal emissions, while continuing to gorge himself on the world's hysteria.
A member of the fringe press, a senior writer who contributes to The Spoof.Com, said cynically, 'One can only hope that soon 'Ally Boy' will be swimming with the Polar Bears!"