Written by Aspartame Boy
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Saturday, 31 October 2009

image for Give children 'a Holloweeny' stuffed with pure aspartame
This child aged 60 years in 10 minutes after consuming a pound of aspartame

WASHINGTON DC - Spokesman Dr. Strangedeath for the FDA held a short news conference today wherein he encouraged parents to give children 'Holloweenies' such as eyeball eggs stuffed with aspartame.

Holloweeny could be used to rid the Earth of excess children experts say.

Parents should shun chocolate bars and sweets this Holloweeny and instead give their children adulterated food, a charity says.

The World Death Research Fund has come up with a series of Holloweeny recipes for families to rid themselves of children they long forgot to abort.

These include toast shaped like ghosts powdered with pure aspartame, eyeball eggs and carrots made to look like Frankenstein's fingers - all adulterated with pure aspartame.

The charity said steps such as these would rid the Earth of excess children, making things nicer for all of us.

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