Written by Jalapenoman
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Wednesday, 28 October 2009

image for Farmer's Wife In Jail For Cruelty To Animals
This cousin of the victims had no comment.

Mrs. Cecilia Scoggins, wife of Farmer John Scoggins, has been arrested on charges of cruelty to animals. The police report states that on September 31st, Mrs. Scoggins apprehended three blind mice in her kitchen and cut off their tails with a carving knife.

"Them mice was running after me," said Scoggins. 'It was self defense, I tell you!"

"Did you ever see such as sight in your life? Three blind mice! I mean, this is horrific," claimed Agnes Gunn, neighbor and the person who turned her in.

The National Center for the Visually Impaired has said that they will request that the courts file hate crime charges against the farmer's wife.

In related news, Jack's head is healing properly and he is out of his coma after falling down a hill and breaking his crown. Jill, who came tumbling after, received only minor bruises and was released the same day. Their pail, however, was damaged beyond repair in the water collecting accident.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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