Written by Morse
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Topics: Iceland

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

image for Spoof Consortium Takes over Icelandic Fast Food Franchises; Forced to Swallow Massive Debt for Liverpool and Man U For Dessert!
Scoob Celebrates at the New Icelandic Oasis Pub with 'a warm one'

Reykjavik, Iceland/ Financial Botulism Capitol of the World - Calling it 'the chance of life time', a consortium of Spoof Writers from around the globe have jumped in to purchase the rights of 3 failed McFrugal hamburger joints, and in the process also became the owners of record of some of Britain's Premier League Soccer Teams.

Continuing to fail in the Global Economy, hard hit Iceland was forced to abandon their 3 McFrugal hamburger emporiums, saying only, 'you can't sell a spot of meat and a bit of cheese on a bun for $5.29, even if you hold the ketchup!"

The country's kronar has fallen to an all time low against the Euro, now requiring 186 of the weird little coins to equal one of the European Unions funny pieces of paper.

"We were hoping that with the appointment of Tony Blair to the EU presidency that our exchange rate would become healthy, ' said secretary of the Icelandic Treasury, Gunnar Svendisadorkk, " but it became apparent, that if we got Tony in, we'd have to take his wife Cherie too, which would cross out our advantage! We had no choice really, but to take our lickin' and get off the pitch!"

Even though home sales are up, thanks in part to the purchase of at least 6 high end estates, 3 townhouses, and an apartment complex by Mrs. Blair, the rest of the economy still lags.

Adding to the domestic woes are the leveraged loans for the purchase of several of Britain's Premier league teams including Liverpool and Manchester United. Economic studies have revealed that the League takes in about $2B in income, but has incurred over $5B in debt.

A spokesman for the financial group taking over, Skoob1999, the new co-anchor along with the perky Erin Andrews on ESPN's "Late Night Soccer" in the US, said with the current exchange rate the deal was too good to pass up.

Skoob said he was negotiating a new Tellie package for English Soccer in the US, primarily because of the rise in ratings since he and Erin came on board.
"The numbers are through the roof,' he said smugly, "we'll easily cover our debt, and be able to 'rent' a few of the best futbol players in the world to increase our chances for the World Cup trials coming up.!"

As far as the restaurants are concerned, Skoob, who amongst other attributes was a short order cook on a pirate cruise ship, said remodeling was already underway. "We expect they will be profitable within a fortnight, 'he said,' we're tagging them with our Oasis Bar & Grill Logo, we'll be serving over 158 regional beers on tap, and be buying our provisions locally to keep down costs."

Icelanders said they were overjoyed with the news, and predicted the country's fleet of whalers will be busy supply victuals for the pubs 'into the forseeable future!"

Official opening for the popular chain is scheduled for November 7th, and according to Skoob there is an outside chance the all girl rock band 'The Bonkettes (copyright Skoob 2009) may show up to kick things off.

If the Bonkettes are previously booked, Skoob said he might be able to talk his wife out of retirement to sing a few Billie Holiday tunes backed up by the new Count Basie Band.

Employment applications are being advertised, and hopefull staff are applying from as far away as Thailand , Amsterdam, and Texas. Skoob promises a 'colourful and complete, if risque, dining experience!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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