Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 26 October 2009

image for Gandhi Returns from Grave, Seen with Elvis and Jacko

Memphis, TN - Furthering conspiracy theories about faked deaths of certain entertainers and world leaders, residents near a popular Burger King in Memphis, Tennessee now report to have seen Mahatma Gandhi eating lunch there.

Coupled with other recent sightings of Elvis, Michael Jackson and Jerry Lewis, Gandhi was identified by at least five drive-through customers at the same restaurant on their way past the picnic table area. "It was him for sure", says Anita Lobatomi. "The bald head, the flowing white robes, the skinny arms and he sat cross legged on the grass too. It must be him."

Other customers have seen the man resembling Gandhi to be eating with Elvis and the recently deceased Michael Jackson at the same table. "Gandhi was sticking to the vegetarian menu though", said Herb Iggthighs, another regular patron of the Memphis BK. "Jacko was eating a kid's meal, Elvis has a triple meat cheeseburger, but Gandhi stuck to fries and onion rings."

Believers could not be swayed by concurrent reports of two conventions in the area. "The National Association of Short Hindu Men", along with the "Dead Entertainer's Fan Club" were holding annual meetings down the street. "I saw what I saw", says Labotomi. "That was Gandhi sitting there with Elvis, eating fries. I'm as sure of it, as I am about Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny being real. Why every month like clockwork, I get my visit from he Period Fairy too, so don't tell me he ain't real."

Others interviewed at the Memphis Burger King were shocked to learn that Jerry Lewis was indeed still alive.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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