Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 25 October 2009

image for It's Official: UN World Health Organization Declares Obama a Pandemic!
Obama's Gone Viral and Declared a Global Pandemic: No Remedy?

The World Health Organization today issued a Global Warning officially naming Barack Hussein Obama a PANDEMIC!

The unprecedented action from an agency more intent on equalizing wealth amongst the world's population, was forced into the proclamation due to the
life threatening virus being spread around the globe by the US President, and being called "The Chicago Flu" on Fox News, again the first news organization to report the threat.

A council of world health leaders came to their unmistakable conclusion after a series of events left no doubt that The World was being threatened with a virus, that to date, seems to have no known anecdote.

In tracing these bizarre events, the council noticed only one similarity; Obama had either just visited the country, had Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton visit the country, or had spoke about the country at length on either the Jay Leno or David Letterman late night talk shows.

As soon as Biden left Poland, the Poles announced a treaty with Russia to install both long and short range missiles to prevent Biden's return.

In Somalia, pirate activity increased after Obama ordered that no legal or physical action be taken against the pirates for commandeering tankers.

In Darfur starving natives began cannibalizing their neighbors after hearing that the Obama White House was encouraging euthanasia for newborns, old people, and Republicans.

In France, people lost their minds, and came out in favor of awarding a medal to convicted child rapist Roman Polanski.

In Norway, the president of the Nobel Peace Prize overrode objections from the rest of the selection committee and awarded it to Obama before he was institutionalized.

In the US, children, easily the first to show signs of the insidious virus, began chanting praises to Obama and neglecting their sex education studies.

In congress, Senator John Kerry (D) and Senator Lindsay Graham (R) where caught hugging each other in support of Cap & Trade.

In San Francisco, former hard core republican Newt Gingrich was seen canoodling with Race Baiter Rev. Al Sharpton at his book tour.

In Italy the Amanda Knox trial approaches its third year, and the PM proudly releases his personal sex romps on DVDs.

In Britain the BNP party gains popularity after Obama stiffs both Gordon Brown, the Queen, and kicks a Corgi while sending back a bust of Winston Churchill because he fought against his grandfather, who was a Mau Mau.

Encouraged by Obama, Hugo Chavez confiscates EVERY privately owned enterprise in the country, including the Motel 6, and promptly turns out the light to discourage tourism.

Back in the US Obama announces a $150m grant to encourage 'technology' in Muslim countries, known in Jihad circles, "as building a better back pack"

Al Gore is granted $500M to develop a 'green sports car' that sells for $90,000 that will be built in Delaware (oh, really) while Detroit has 25% unemployment and people line up for 'free Obama money'.

Obama dictates to Home Land Security that illegal aliens are no longer a threat to national security and should not be a target of law enforcement. Illegal aliens now join The Taliban classed as 'a harmless nuisance'

The pandemic proclamation actually encompasses 1500 type written pages, but since no one read it before it was released, the world will just have to accept it at face value.

The organization said they are working feverishly to find an anecdote, but it may be as early as 2010, or as late as 2016 before a remedy is found.

Even if a remedy is found, according to the agency, it may take until 2025 to get the FDA to approve it.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

7 23 8 13
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top