Written by Morse
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Saturday, 24 October 2009

image for Pamela Anderson Claims Trick or Treater Stole Her Pumpkins!
Cops Want to Know: Have You Seen These Pumpkins Lately?

Hollywood, California/Agricultural News - Hollywood babe Pamela Anderson claimed today she was a victim of a cruel Halloween trick or treater who held her at gun point until she gave him her pumpkins!

The former Tool Time air ratchet, Bay Watch Bimbo, and Playmate Punching Bag claims she had no other choice but to turn over her most prized possessions, her 36ddd implanted pumpkins, to the costumed thief who appeared unannounced at her Hollywood home wearing an Obama Chia Costume, and brandishing what she claims was 'a big shiny gun.'

A spokesman for the blonde mammalian claims she was severely shaken during the dramatic confrontation but that her loss is 'completely covered by Boob Insurance issued by AIG, and backed by Lloyds of London."

Hollywood Sheriff Deputy Jeb Clampet, a veteran of over 32 years on the local force said that details of the alleged crime were sketchy. Clampet said the file was open on the case and the department was pursuing several leads.

"It's either a fraudulent insurance claim, another 'balloon hoax', or a legitimate boob jacking, in which case her tits are probably already on the way to Thailand in a shipping container," said the grizzled crime stopper veteran.

Anderson told the investigating team that the implants did contain serial numbers, but that they may have been inadvertently 'filed off' during a spousal abuse assault while she was married to rock drummer Tomi Lee, whose 'bite was worse than his bark', according to the deflated California personality.

Anderson, who maintains a closet full of implants due to multiple breast enhancement operations, uses flesh coloured velcro strips under her tits to effect fast changes, and said the hi jacking was over before she could react.

"This strange black guy in costume showed up at my door, and I thought he was soliciting for the Democratic party....the next thing I know I'm half naked, I'm unzipped, and my tits are gone....I mean, WTF!"

Clampet added, sardonically, I have a feeling the Perp has been staking out the victim for awhile, and was probably familiar with her tits...it was someone who definitely knew the Victim. Intimately!"

Law enforcement officials said they were on their way to interview David Letterman, the late night talk show host who has been known to have his hands on everything, lately, and quick with a zipper.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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