Written by Bob Muppet
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Topics: Pope, Marriage, Catholic

Thursday, 22 October 2009

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The Pope shocked the world's religious organisations, when he announced, yesterday, that he was offering a 5 year 'no divorce' warranty on all new marriages in his Catholic churches.

This desperate move comes as figures are published to suggest that 60% of all new marriages end in divorce and that church attendance is falling.

His Holiness also announced a seasonal buy-one-get-one-free offer scheduled for the Christmas period, effectively extending the no-divorce offer to 10 years.

A Vatican spokesperson cautioned that the 5 year warranty did not apply to gay, divorced or incestuous couples.

'Only good Catholic couples will be eligible for this fantastic offer' he advised.

Demand for this once in a lifetime offer is expected to be high.

Other religious groups have responded to this fantastic deal by guaranteeing 20 virgins to members of their congregations who are willing to blow themselves into the afterlife, although they admitted that they couldn't match the Pope's offer.

The Pope's deal of a lifetime is expected to further inflame opinion in the world's political hot-spots because other religions are unable to offer anything comparable.

No one was available at the Vatican to comment, although a source familiar with the situation admitted that the Pope's action would be likely to increase the freebies offered by the various spiritual groups.

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