Written by Bunsen Burner
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Topics: Beatles, Spy, CIA

Monday, 19 October 2009

image for US Military To Use Remote Controlled Beetles To Bug Conversations
Ringo was getting the hang of this bugging lark...

Sssh! Be very careful, you may be a victim of the US military's latest weapon in the war on terror. Remote controlled beetles are to be used to listen in to conversations.

Next time you go to a party and you see Ringo Starr wandering around the room be careful. Is he simply circulating? Looking for the loo? Or is he listening in to all the conversations around him and transmitting them back to MI5?

The military got the idea following a performance on US television by Paul McCartney. For days afterwards a research assistant kept humming one of the ex-Beetle's songs. Eventually Professor Casper Wankburger III could stand it no more and shouted "Quit bugging me with that Beetle guy's music...."

Suddenly it dawned on them. A listening device hidden in a Beetle.

Obviously with John and George there would not be a great deal to hear, but with the other two the possibilities are endless. Ringo is particularly easy to control remotely. In fact he was the world's first remote controlled drummer back in 1963.

There are unconfirmed reports that Adam and the Ants will also be used to listen to private conversations. The Monkees have said no to reforming.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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