After continual warnings about an environmental disaster being ignored it is now official, the UK will drown and become the Atlantis of the North Sea!
First heatwaves, droughts, bush fires and a plague of locusts will hit the UK, then the North Sea propelled by melting ice from the polar regions will rise and devour the rest!
Shipping lanes are already being redrawn as to avoid passing ships colliding with the Pennines, Snowdonia and Ben Nevis.
As for the UK population, Ben Noahs-Arc, a Jewish boat builder, is being inundated with requests for his boats and the Channel Tunnel corporation are widening the tunnel to accomodate for housing estates, penthouse suites and a brand new Buckingham Palace!
UK citizens are hoping that the Netherlands, Germany, France and Scandinavian countries will accept them, only problem is, these countries have to get rid of their "Gastarbeiters" (guest workers) first, hence a massive lurch to "extreme-right" politics everywhere!
Sir Francis Drake (great, great, great, great, grandson of Sir Francis Drake) has put forward plans to Queen Elisabeth mark 2, for the building of a massive, luxury, heart shaped floating platform to float above the island for the rich and famous!
Saudi King, Sheikh Abdullah mark 5, has already bought 75% of the platform and promises only to let VIP's, multi Billionaires, over paid football stars and Andy Murray buy plots!
As for the rest, hopefully Europe swings so far to the extreme-right, sends all their "Gastarbeiters" back to where they came from and adopts their new "British Immigrant friends" as long as thay are caucasian white, the rest can sink like stones with the UK!