Garden of Eden, Ireland - Anthropologist, Dr. Devin O'Hara of the Smithsonian Institute has uncovered viable evidence that supports the long held belief, that Ireland is truly "God's Country" and the birthplace of all that is good and human.
"We can now say, we believe that life and love, as we know it, began here.
The remains of a male and female were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of a recently dredged peat bog."
"We will be studying each specimen in depth, but the preliminary studies are in and results are astounding. Bible scholars have long claimed that God created Eve from Adam's rib. We counted Adam's ribs carefully, and our boy Adam came up one short. We looked everywhere it just wasn't there. I'm not saying that this proves anything, but it was an interesting fact to report."
"Next, we studied the contents of their stomachs, and found that they were full of potatoes. There is an old Irish legend that claims Eve first tempted Adam with a spud, baked or boiled, the legend doesn't say, but a spud none the less. Again, I'm not saying it proves anything, but it's a fact that needs reporting."
"The carbon dating tests we did, placed the age of the remains close to that of the beginning of time. No other human remains tested thus far, have come close to being that old. All of these facts combined make a compelling case in defense of the God's country theory, many questions have been answered, but many questions remain unanswered."
"One of our scientists has a theory of his own involving Adam, Eve and St. Patrick. The story goes that St. Paddy droved the snakes out of Ireland, but no one knows where the snakes came from in the first place. The Bible states that Eve was tempted by a snake, and if the Garden of Eden was in Ireland, we know exactly where the snakes came from."
(Another theory claimed that St. Patrick was actually an undercover agent working for British Intelligence and the whole snake story was a diversionary tactic.)
In the end, whichever theory proves true, in eyes of some, Ireland will remain God's country, the place where life and love began, and the home of all that is good and human.