The reason given for a furious assault on French troops in Afghanistan by Taleban warlords, which resulted in the unfortunate deaths of ten French peacekeepers was that the Taleban thought they were Italians who had reneged on a protection deal.
It has been alleged that Italian forces in Afghanistan paid off the Taleban in exchange for a quiet tour of duty for their troops. But then the Italians handed over to the French, and neglected to inform Taleban Warlords, who in turn, thought that the French were Italians who had defaulted on protection payments, and who were getting a bit above their station, so they launched a devastating attack.
The Berlusconi administration in Rome denied any payments were made, and as the controversy rages on, the US Mafia, or La Cosa Nostra contacted theSpoof.com to express its collective disgust over events in Asia.
We met up with Antonio 'Big Tony' Carbonara, head of the Fusilli crime family at The Spaghetti House Social Club on Mott Street in Lower Manhattan. He was accompanied by his enforcer, Luca 'The Fat Handed Strangler' Ravioli, and his Consiglieri, Tom 'Redface' Connolly.
The meeting was a little tense, but it passed off without any unpleasantness because we were constantly on the verge of shitting ourselves.
"Dis scenario is a disgrace," Big Tony told us. "Italians paying protection money to ragheads? If dat is true, it's a disgrace. Dem guys in Rome oughta be ashamed a demselves. What dey shoulda done is sent out a coupla wiseguys and whacked da friggin upsurgents. It ain't like it's a tough call or nothin. And if there wuz Italian-American wiseguys in dere, den dey shoulda sorted dis shit out by now. Goddam Obama should send our guys in dere. We'd fuck em over in a week."
At which point, Luca, 'The Fat Handed Strangler' said somewhat menacingly:
"Dese Eyetalyuns, dey ain't Sicilian. If dey wuz Sicilian, den dere wouldn't be no frickin upsurgency. Da whole situation is just dumb."
More when we've showered.