Don Luigi's, a Chicago Italian restaurant, has been awarded this year's Nobel Pizza Prize. The award goes to the pie that best rewards the palate and brings the greatest satisfaction to the stomach. Producing the biggest belch is not always a requirement, but was met in this case.
Luigi Linguini, owner and founder of Don Luigi's, happily accepted the award and offered the following statement: "I'mma glad to see that they don't giva dis again to-a one of da big pizza chains, cuz I canna compete with dem for numbers. Iffa you wan't a nice-a slice, you come to Don Luigi's."
"In my place, we don't use-a no cheap cheese and no fake meat. Only da best dat my cousin Vinny can get off the back of the loadin' dock, if-a you know what I mean."
"I learn everything about makin' my pizza from my Mama, God rest her soul."
"Dey talk about my place many times, but we never get-a dis award before. If it didn't happen dis year, dem judges, ...dey was gonna sleep wid da fish."