Written by Morse
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Friday, 16 October 2009

image for Frankie The J Leads Successful "Counter Attack" Against Oregon Apartment Complex Holding US Flag Hostage!
Frankie the J Regains Flag Rights for Oregon Apartment Patriots!

A bunch of pissed off military veterans rode their Harley's into the lobby of the Poison Ivy apartments in downtown Portland today to challenge management's decision to ban all displays of the American Flag.

Management, faced with confronting 35 steely eyed veterans, draped in the American Flag, lined up in the lobby standing at parade rest in company formation, blinked!

Spokesman for the group, Frankie The J, sporting a 10" Waxed Handlebar mustache, and a former Navy veteran, accepted the unconditional surrender of the foreign management team, whose origin is still unknown due to a collection of LLC's and Corporation flim flam, still slowly being unraveled by Real Reporters for America (RRA), an independent journalistic society that actually believes in uncovering and reporting the FACTS!

Frankie The J, a modest West Virginia native, survivor of what he says is numerous unnamed guerilla engagements with insurgent females around the globe in unmentionable places, is one of the last remaining Band Of Brothers.

The other two 'Brothers' were indisposed and not able to made the trip to Oregon; one was suffering from the effects of an erection that lasted more than 48 hours, and the other was still a little rocky after touring the USS Enterprise moored in Charleston Harbor.

The tour of the famous WW II aircraft carrier was part of an outreach program by the Veterans Administration to enable former Army and Air Force veterans to better understand their Naval Brethren, and still left some participants confused and somewhat disorientated.

In an unprecedented organizational effort, Frankie turned over he reorganization of the 250 unit apartment complex to Erwin "Gunny" Polankawski, a grizzled veteran. Polankawski was credited with alerting the country to the management policy of eviction for anyone showing the American Flag, or any other sign, sticker, tattoo or lapel pin professing respect for the United States of America.

Within 4 hours the 'Gunny' had everything, and everyone 'ship shape'.

The community sand box was returned to 'the kids', and the goat roasting spit was moved to a separate area of the playground. The pool was returned for the use of US citizens, but legal aliens were granted the kiddy wading poof for use as a foot bath, as long as 'they clean up after themselves'.

In a rare show of cooperation, all tenants vowed to make a better effort in communicating with each other, share their life experiences, and work together for the good of the community. To cement this agreement, all agreed they would not watch television for a week, surf the net reading Blogs, or allow their kids to sing any Obama songs in Portland's liberal schools.

The city's openly gay mayor, Sam Adams, a non de plume he uses while trolling the net, attempted to take credit for negotiating the peace at the apartments, but was universally rebuffed by all 723 residing tenants who turned out for the mayor's news conference and shouted "YOU SUCK", causing him to leave the stage and attempt to 'regroup' in his office.

Frankie The J and Rolling Thunder were proudly escorted out of town by the city's police department, who through their actions, regained their manhood, their pride, and were happy to once again be able to place the seal of the United States of America on the side of their patrol cars in place of the Rainbow Coalition Flag.

Wal Mart said their Halloween Costume Section was all sold out of 10" waxed Handle Bar Mustaches.

Said a spokesman, "every little kid that comes in here says, 'I need one of those, I wanna be just like Frankie The J!"

Ride On Brother!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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