In a rare pact of solidarity, nude beaches in California, Florida, Brazil, Mexico, France, and Italy have joined together to outlaw dingleberrys. They have also called on all other nude beaches to join in the ban.
Dawson Hunter, lifeguard at Brown Beach in San Diego, California, said "hey, we get them all. Tall, fat, skinny, short, flat chested, fake boobs, saggy boobs, beer bellies, pencil dicks, circumcised, uncircumcised,...you name it, we get it. Every one of those people is welcome to come to our beach, drop their drawers, and swim or sunbathe. Now, however, we've got one very new and socially acceptable restriction: no dingleberrys."
"You cut those little hanging balls of poop off of your pet when you see them, so why should you allow them to hang off of your own ass? It's disgusting, gross, and really unsanitary."
"Yes, fish do pee in that same water, but this is something different."
"Dingleberrys are just gross. From behind, they can make it look like your ass has balls...sometimes lots of them!"
Violators at all participating beaches will be prosecuted the same: lifetime ban a branding of "DB" on the right ass cheek. Second offenders will receive the same branding on the other cheek.