Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

image for Obama Honours Nobel Pre Nup : No More 'Armed' Troops to Afghanistan; Gets to Keep Prize and Money!
Obama Mandates 16 oz Boxing Gloves for Troops in Harms Way: Honours Peace Prize Stipulations!

In town for a quiet candle lit dinner with supporters, President Obama quietly signed an order to commit just 13,000 non combat troops to the Afghanistan conflict in order to comply with caveats attached to the Norwegian Peace Award and not be forced to return the award and the $1.4M Stipend.

Taking a page from former VN commander, General Westmoreland, Obama, on the advice of military strategists Joe Biden, and Nancy Pelosi, ordered the mobilization and deployment of 3 companies of Clerk Typists, a Battalion of Tent Assemblers, a heavy construction Brigade charged with digging a moat around Kabul, and 4 companies of MP's charged with safeguarding and distributing truck loads of 'stimulus' cash to Tribal Leaders.

Obama stressed that none of the money would go to illegal Taliban Terrorists, but Commanders on the ground indicated they had been instructed by Attorney General Eric Holder, that they were forbidden by the 'Obama Convention", Fatwa 'BHO 1-250-09, which supplanted Military Directive AR-30-5, to ask for battlefield identification.

Not publicized, but included in the deployment, were 2 squads of Chemical Engineers from the Aberdeen proving grounds to monitor and insure the quality of heroin currently being imported to the US. Reports have surfaced recently, especially after the election, that the 'product' has been cut with rat poison originally intended to purify the country's orphanages in an effort to win 'the hearts and minds ' of Afghan civilians, but now being used to 'increase yield' by Narco Tribal Chiefs discovering 'Capitalism'.

Obama claimed he refused to dispatch more 'armed' troops to the country, after a recent Taliban attack where US troops were forced to throw away their automatic weapons in disgust when they seized up from overheating.

"Guns that don't work aren't the answer, "Obama reportedly said, "if our troops feel that they absolutely have to defend themselves, let them lash out with railroad ties....but they better have a damn good reason for violence!"

Troops managed to hold off over 200 Taliban Fighters by pulling the tabs and lobbing hundreds of tins of MRE's (meals, ready to eat), labeled "Pulled Pork" which caused religious confusion and loss of command structure amongst the Muslim attackers. Eight US soldiers were killed when their base was over run, their weapons failed, and VP Biden was not available to call in Air Support.

Obama is off today, following an exhaustive night watching Monday night football, then he is off to Old Trafford on Saturday to give an interview with ESPN's Erin Andrews, who he thinks is 'hot', according to comments by Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.

Rahm Emanuel is taking steps to revoke the FCC license for Fox News.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

4 14 3 25

Go to top