Rumours, lies, and palatable fear circulate about this economically distressed beach town, residents paranoid that the first real Hurricane of the Season may soon hit the shore in the form of the outrageous female Rock Group, The Bonkettes.
Details are sketchy, as only the Band's founder, Skoob1999, mentor, and spokesman, is licensed to speak publicly about the group that has taken Facebook and U-Tube by storm. Skoob says the group now has over 7,000,000,000 Friends, and they haven't even toured China yet!
Myrtle Beach, suffering from a tourism drop off and cash crunch, after the majority of the residents forced the town council to ban the annual motorcycle rallies which brought in upwards of 1,500,000 riders for a 2 week period, decimating fuel supplies, brewery reserves, and forcing the area's residents, none of whom could get to work, into dehydration and severe malnutrition.
Outside of local bars, the only type of business that made money were the over 500 top flight golf courses, who hosted wet T-shirt contests to coincide with their programmed sprinkler irrigation on the golfer less courses.
Said one harried resident, Leroy McMuffin, a retired steel worker from Gary, Indiana, "Hey, I like a good blow onest in awhile myself...but according to the Weather Channel and MTV, this could turn into a real 'shit storm'!"
Besieged Governor Mark Sanford, already in trouble over a transatlantic storm that blew up while he visited his hot blooded Argentinean mistress leaving no one at home to put their legislative finger in the pending Dykes Rights equal opportunity bill, said,while he would 'be out of pocket' if the Wonkettes did indeed show up, the National Guard, as well as FEMA were standing by.
FEEMA did confirm they were sending 45,000 still uninhabited trailers stockpiled in Florida from the Katrina 'Exercise" to Myrtle Beach.
The announcement prompted West Virginia Resident, Frankie The J to comment, "well shit....guess I''ll mosey on down to Myrtle Beach, now that I know I'll have a place to crash my 'red necked' ass!", a comment that left White House Grammarian Czar Paris Hilton, speechless.
When contacted by Reporters, Skoob 1999 refused to confirm or deny the Bonkette Rumour. " Let's do lunch," he said, " we can talk about it!"
Morse as we get it. Or Not.